


you can’t shine brighter than the unfaltering sun

by nacchann



Category: Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Childhood Friends, M/M, Or Is It?, Unrequited Love, best friends nielhwan, lapslock
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-16
Updated: 2019-01-11
Packaged: 2019-10-08 09:23:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17383922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nacchann/pseuds/nacchann
Summary: jaehwan treated everything with care - and of everything that he treats with utmost love and care, even more than his own heart: kang daniel.orfive times jaehwan listened to daniel + one time he wished he didn’t have to





	you can’t shine brighter than the unfaltering sun

**Author's Note:**

> un-beta'ed

one.

 

"hello? this is kim jaehwan from the ceo's office, kang enterprises. i'm calling to follow up on the email i sent to you yesterday about the event next week, did you receive it?"

kim jaehwan, 28, personal assistant to the ceo of kang enterprises. he's stressed, overworked, and heaven help him get this bloody incompetent events company to get their shit together for the annual kang enterprises fundraiser. right now, his patience was short because it's 9 am and he's still trying to fight this fire when he’s not even had coffee in his system yet.

"what do you mean you haven't _seen your email_?!" jaehwan hissed into the phone indignantly. the person on the line mumbled something about _let me get my manager_ -

“hi jaehwan-hyung, the usual?"

jaehwan looked up from his phone and gave a tired smile to the barista. "yes, hi, guanlin, you’re a lifesaver," giving his card to the equally haggard-looking university student as he returned his attention to his phone. jaehwan had patronised this café too often that the staff knew him by name, and his coffee orders by heart.

"yes, hello mr lee, yes i'm glad you saw my email; yes i'm glad that you understand the request," jaehwan nodded in thanks as the barista put the drinks into a carrier.

"no, i don't see how this cannot be done given your extensive expertise, you know, at the meeting three days ago, yes, that one, you _gave your word directly to kang-sajangnim_ ," jaehwan hissed as he collected his drinks, nodding and mouthing thanks to guanlin, and left the café.

"right, glad that jogged your memory, glad that i don't need my boss to schedule a chat with _your_ boss," jaehwan got into the car waiting by the curb, nodding to the driver. "now can you confirm for the event? you can? that's great, i'll be expecting your email reply, great doing business with you."

jaehwan clicked the end-call button and groaned. "remind me to blacklist this vendor, driver joo."

the driver, joo jinwoo, chuckled as he carefully merged into traffic, "you've had a hard time, secretary kim," he replied in jest. the younger boy would call him by his title only when trying to release some tension.

jaehwan took a long sip of his coffee. "all because that _asshole_ wanted to change the theme five days before the event, just because he suddenly remembered that it's nearly _halloween_?" jaehwan scoffed as he scrolled through his emails on his phone.

jinwoo looked in the rear-view mirror, amused. jaehwan had puffed his cheeks in concentration as he did his job, fingers furiously typing a reply, while simultaneously complaining about his boss at the same time. "he just wanted an excuse to wear that spiderman costume seongwu-hyung gave him for his birthday last year. _damn you, kang daniel_!"

it was a short drive to their destination. "we've arrived, secretary kim," driver joo looked back to jaehwan fondly. "i'll be waiting for you and master kang."

"thanks, jinwoo-hyung. i'll make sure his highness doesn't keep you waiting for long," jaehwan scoffed, as he alighted and headed into the mansion.

jaehwan stewed in his annoyance, sipping his iced coffee as he waited for the elevator, his other hand holding his phone and the other cups of iced coffee in the carrier. he relished in stabbing the button for the penthouse, imagining his boss’ face in it, and then the door close button. jaehwan physically recoiled when he realised he was acting childishly – it was something kang daniel would actually _do_.

 _oh god, his boss was rubbing off him._ jaehwan rolled his neck and shoulders, setting his back straight and rose to his full height as the elevator doors opened straight into the penthouse. striding into the living room with the full force of a long-suffering personal assistant, he began his usual morning routine with his best friend, who also happened to be his boss.

" _yah, kang daniel!_ "

 

 

jaehwan's earliest memories all involve daniel.

when he was six years old, jaehwan remembers moving into a huge mansion. it was a lot bigger than the small one-room apartment that he used to live in with his mom and dad. this place had a tall gate, and a driveway leading up to the three-storey house; at six, he felt the house was looming over him, the chill wind making him shiver as he looked up at the building that was to be his new home.

he remembers his mother’s imploring gaze and commanding soft voice.

“you’re seven months older than daniel, jaehwannie,” he recalls his mother instructing him. “you have to take care of him, stay with him at all times, you’re his best friend!”

“you don’t want daniel to be lonely, do you?” his father said.

jaehwan furiously shook his head at his father. “no, i love daniel! he's my bestest friend forever!” he exclaimed.

jaehwan’s most vivid memories were _always_ of daniel.

from exploring the large mansion together, coughing and sneezing at the dusty books in the old library, to sneaking sweets from the kitchen pantry, and sleepovers in each other’s beds. they did everything together, and at that point, you couldn’t see one child without the other.

“jaehwannie! follow me!” daniel called out to him, waving, bouncing excitedly. “let’s go!”

daniel was a bright ball of energy, radiating excitement and adventure, and jaehwan couldn’t look away even if he tried, it was like he was a sunflower, looking up to the sun that is daniel.

“i’m coming!” jaehwan shouts back, running to catch up to his usual place beside daniel. he would run with daniel anywhere; wherever daniel went, it would surely be fun.

 

 

two.

 

when he was ten, jaehwan learnt that there were consequences to every whim and want. he learnt that lesson painfully.

his parents worked for the kang family. his father was daniel’s father’s personal assistant, and his mother was daniel’s mother’s. his father and daniel’s father were best friends from their university days; they met as roommates in their freshman year, and after four years, his father graduated with a job at kang enterprises, sworn to serve his best friend loyally.

jaehwan's mother and daniel’s mother had a similar history – the two were best friends, except that they met in high school. they had promised to stay by each other and graduated from the same university together. the four of them met in that same university, became best friends, and fell in love. they got married in the same year, were each other’s bestman and maid-of-honour, had their first child at the same time - kim jaehwan and kang daniel were born in the same year, seven months apart. they raised their children together – from cute playdates with matching outfits to sending them to the same preschool.

but the kang family was very powerful, and with that, they also had powerful enemies. while corporate espionage was something they could handle, it was the death threats that they were cautious of. this continued for the better part of a year; investigations had revealed nothing of the perpetrators, and the threats had expanded to include the kang’s personal assistants. the kim family moved into the kang family’s mansion at the kang’s behest, and spared no expense in ensuring that their children, jaehwan and daniel, were kept safe. while the police kept looking into the perpetrators, precautions were put in place, the security around the two families were tightened. despite this, it all culminated in one rainy day in May, with two lives lost, leaving jaehwan an orphan.

 

this was how eight-year-old jaehwan remembered it:

that fateful day was jaehwan’s birthday, and he had wanted a cake from a particular bakery that they had visited before, the one that he and daniel loved. he had whined to his parents about it, wishing for only that one thing for his birthday, _and i promise i won’t ask for anything else this year!_

jaehwan's parents had laughed and agreed, and had left the mansion. jaehwan was pleased, and anticipated their return with the delicious cake. only that they didn’t – there was an accident on the road, a drunk driver, combined with the heavy rain, said daniel's mother – and all jaehwan could remember feeling was immense guilt and shame and only one thought stood out clearly–

_this is all my fault._

 

a week later, after the funeral, daniel climbed into a numb jaehwan’s bed, knowing that his best friend hadn’t properly slept since that fateful night.

“you’ll always have me, jaehwannie. just stay beside me forever,” daniel promised, eyes glinting with determination. “i’ll keep you safe.”

daniel pulled jaehwan into a tight hug, and jaehwan buried his face in daniel’s shoulder, seeking comfort. he thought that he was all cried out, but his best friend’s embrace was comfortingly warm, and he felt the tears building up again.

“when we grow up, i’m going to inherit dad’s company,” daniel said, and jaehwan can hear the quiet strength and conviction in his voice. he wondered when his best friend learnt to speak in that way - the voice that their fathers had used when issuing important orders. the voice that is unmistakably commanding with quiet strength and power, demanding respect, knowing that all would obey. he wondered if he’d be able to speak that way too. “and you’ll be my assistant, just like how uncle was dad’s.”

jaehwan nodded, tightening his hold around daniel; a silent promise that he’d follow daniel anywhere.

“we’ll be invincible,” daniel whispered into his ears. “and no one can hurt us, ever again.”

in daniel's embrace, jaehwan felt that this was his place, where he belonged.

 

 

three. 

 

in their final year of junior high school, jaehwan realised that the feelings that he had for daniel was probably love. it was more than platonic love between best friends, and it went way beyond sibling love.

jaehwan was in love with his best friend. he knew that his best friend didn’t see him in that way though, but jaehwan was contented to stay as a best friend. daniel was an affectionate creature, and jaehwan was happy to bask in his attention and give him the affection and attention in return. jaehwan knew that his place in the kang family was given to him out of pity and he was determined not to ruin it.

a month after the accident, daniel’s parents had sat them both down to discuss jaehwan’s future. in their will, jaehwan’s parents had left a trust fund for him, to be used for his education and will be accessible after he turns twenty-one. jaehwan could go to live with his mother’s sister in ilsan, as written in the will, or he could choose to stay with the kang family.

still fresh from the promise that they made to each other, both jaehwan and daniel refused to part - jaehwan promising daniel’s parents that he would be on his best behaviour, he’d listen and do everything they ask diligently, so _please don’t send me away_ \- daniel echoing that he too, would listen well and attend his lessons diligently, so _please don’t take my best friend away!_

daniel’s parents acquiesced, however, set forth a plan for them.

_daniel, you’re our heir, and you will inherit all of this one day. you will learn everything that is to know about the kang family, and you will do it together with jaehwan._

_jaehwan, you’ll be daniel’s assistant, shadow, protector. you’ll learn everything that daniel learns, and you will stay by his side, always._

 

the two boys had stayed true to their promise. they studied hard and played equally hard, as teenagers, their energy was boundless. they explored all sorts of play - from physical activities like soccer (jaehwan found that he was really good at this) to skateboarding (the both of them got bored of it after awhile), to dancing (daniel _loved_ this, while jaehwan was content to watch from the side). they studied hard too - scoring perfect marks for all their subjects in school, to learning diligently during the lessons in their home - private lessons on managing the business, etiquette and manners. 

but he was always reminded by all the other servants, outside of daniel’s hearing.

_remember your place, kim jaehwan!_

 

in their world, there were just the two of them, and no one else.

or so jaehwan thought.

 

in their first year of high school, they met ong seongwu.

seongwu-hyung was one year their senior. on their first day of high school, they unsurprisingly, got lost in the large campus. they were helped by seongwu-hyung, who walked them to their first class.

daniel had never looked at jaehwan the way he looked at seongwu-hyung now.

daniel, who had never looked at, or saw, anyone else, but jaehwan. they were each other’s and no one else was given the privilege to even look their way, much less be welcomed into their tight friendship. but now they were three, seongwu-hyung easily slipping into place next to daniel, responding to daniel’s jokes, whims and wants, showering affection and attention and caring for them both, somehow knowing that both daniel and jaehwan just craved validation. and seongwu-hyung was happy to give them both everything they ever wanted.

and jaehwan, too, liked seongwu-hyung.

 

after school, one afternoon in May, the three of them sat in an unused music room, discussing their plans for the summer. daniel and seongwu-hyung were excitedly discussing the new camera that seongwu-hyung had received from his uncle, and daniel wanted to visit a new skateboarding park. jaehwan had tuned them out for a bit, in favour of reading the music sheets in front of him - he wanted to learn a new song for the kang enterprise's fundraiser this year. when he came out of his music-induced haze, daniel was getting to his feet.

“come on, seongwu-hyung,” daniel offered a hand to seongwu. “let’s go check out the place!”

seongwu-hyung just chuckled, accepting the hand up. “okay, but i thought you both’ve got a lesson today?”

daniel groaned, “yeah there’s an etiquette lesson, it’s such a bore though,” he turned to jaehwan, who was still seated at the piano. “you’ll cover for me, right jaehwannie?”

“i’d rather go with seongwu-hyung and let him take photos while i skateboard,” daniel grinned at seongwu-hyung, excitement in his voice.

jaehwan can’t believe it, daniel was abandoning him to go out with seongwu-hyung, and leaving him to face the wrath of their etiquette teacher by himself? daniel knew very well that the teacher only tolerated jaehwan because of daniel. jaehwan wasn’t pure bred and she looked at him with disgust whenever daniel’s back was turned.

and this was the third time in three weeks.

in that moment of clarity, jaehwan sees it. he doesn't know how he'd missed the signs before, but now it's so glaringly obvious, taunting him to his face.

_daniel’s in love with seongwu-hyung._

and seongwu-hyung probably loved daniel too. more than he loved jaehwan, anyway.

and jaehwan didn't belong in that equation.

“thanks jaehwannie, see you at home later!” daniel opened the door cheerily, as seongwu-hyung collected their bags.

“see you jaehwan-ah, i’ll treat you to something next time,” seongwu-hyung bid his goodbye, and the door closed shut with a heavy thud.

 

on his seventeenth birthday, jaehwan learns his place in kang daniel’s life. daniel was attracted to shiny things, he belatedly realised, and dull, inadequate jaehwan could never compete against ong seongwu, who radiates warmth, kindness and affection in spades. seongwu-hyung who is brave and dares to take risks, who isn’t afraid to stand up for himself and others. seongwu-hyung loved unreservedly and wholeheartedly, and daniel had always been starved for affection. jaehwan now knew that his love for daniel was not enough - _who was he kidding_ \- a broken person like himself would never be capable of providing anything to a bright sun like daniel.

jaehwan convinces himself that he’s satisfied with his position in daniel’s life. _being number two isn’t so bad_ , he assured himself. he couldn’t be greedy - he remembered the last time he wanted something so badly. he immediately shook himself out and firmly shut down that train of thought before the memories of that night nine years ago could flood in. he has to obey, quietly, and without question.

 _“this is your place, kim jaehwan,_ ” he whispered harshly to himself, swallowing the bitterness that’s rising up his chest, blinking hard against the tears threatening to rise, nails biting into his palms. alone in the dark and quiet music room, his voice echoed back to him, harshly reinforcing the thought.

_this is your place._

 

 


End file.
